Let’s color together.

Source: Let’s color together.

Advertisements

Music of significance…to me (2)

Music is a vice I like to use when I am feeling particuarly anxious. I like to listen to the words, decipher them and figure out what the artist is trying to convey. Kind of like a college literature course where you have to share what you get out of whatever it is you’re reading. Funny, I always had a difficult time with all the “thee’s and thou’s and art thou’s” in understanding what the hell the book is about.   I digress…

I am very eclectic in my music preferences. Naturally, I lean towards the alternative and indie side. So, when I found this I was in an alt mood. 😉

Mountains At My Gates – Foals

 
I see a mountain at my gates
I see it more and more each day
What I give, it takes away
Whether I go or when I stay
I see a mountain at my gates
I see it more and more each day
I see a fire out by the lake
I’ll drive my car without the brakes
I see a mountain in my way
It’s looming larger by the day
I see a darkness in my fate
I’ll drive my car without the brakes

image

Oh, gimme some time
Show me the foothold from which I can climb
Yeah, when I feel low
You show me a signpost for where I should go
I see a mountain at my gates
I see it more and more each day
And my desire wears a dark dress
But each day, I see you less
Oh, gimme some time
Show me the foothold from which I can climb
Yeah, when I feel low
You show me a signpost for where I should go
Through lanes and stone rows
Black granite, wind blows
Fire lake and far flame
Go now but come again
Dark clouds gather ’round
Will I run or stand my ground
Oh, when I come to climb
Show me the mountain so far behind
Yeah, it’s farther away
Its shadow gets smaller day after day
Yeah, gimme my way
Gimme my love
Gimme my choice
You keep me coming around
Gimme my fate
Gimme my lungs
Gimme my voice
You keep me coming around
Gimme my lungs
Gimme my, gimme my
Gimme my, gimme my
Gimme my, gimme my
Gimme my, gimme my
Gimme my way
Gimme my fate
Gimme my lungs
Gimme my choice
You keep me coming round

 

With anxiety there is always a mountain to climb over, to go round, to get through. Look for that foothold, that hope, that courage and CLIMB! Before long, that mountain will be in the rear view mirror!

~ Crys

 

 

So it’s been a while…

I really need to get back to writing. (even though I only have a few followers at the moment). Honestly, it is very cathartic for me and I can tell a HUGE difference in my anxiety when I do write. Let’s call it what it is, a distraction.

Distraction can be great. It’s not the way you handle the things that started your anxiety, but it’s a way to combat your anxiety sensitivity. If you are like me, you know what led up to the anxiety, but that is so far removed from your mind at the moment. You are in the vortex of hell…what is called the anxiety circle. You are anxious about being anxious now.

So, here you are. Dealing with not only what led up to this nasty little creature, but it’s torturous game of hell. Washmanaging-exam-anxiety, rinse, repeat. One minute you think you have a foothold, the next minute you are sliding back into the pit. Wash, rinse, repeat.

You and I WILL find our way back. We will climb out of the pit stronger than before. Until then, use the tool of distraction to make you “feel” better. Anything that will make you stop scanning your body for every little blip or feeling. It certainly helps me. And, I know that one day, I will be over the fear OF fear. I will stop giving it so much leverage in my life.

So here ya go…. (and, yes, most of these are cliche)

  • Write (even if it’s one word)
  • Watch funny videos on YouTube
  • Watch funny shows (I LOVE Reba, Everybody Loves Raymond, Golden Girls, Big Bang Theory, Friends, etc)
  • Get into a book series that you cannot stop reading (better if it’s mind numbing smut)
  • Find a monthly workout challenge and commit to it (I do one IN my house)
  • Gratitude journal – name three things every day that you are grateful for
  • Pray or talk to your higher power
  • Doodle, draw, paint…etc.
  • Find a goal that you REALLY want to achieve and just freakin’ do it. (last time I had a bad bout of anxiety, I signed up for a 15k. And, guess what? I trained and trained and it pulled me completely out of my anxiety for 9 years). — I have signed up for a half marathon and I will be training again come hell or high water!

Point is, do something even when you don’t feel like it and do it every day. Once your mind gets in the zone, those anxious feelings are relieved even if it’s just for a small amount of time.

One step at a time…

~ Crys